Get to Know You Questions
A running list of questions I like for getting to know someone, grouped by theme.
Childhood
- Where were you born and where did you grow up?
- How would your parents or teachers have described you as a kid?
- What did you do for fun when you were by yourself?
- Who did you look up to?
- What did you want to be when you grew up?
- What was a turning point or defining moment in your childhood?
School
- What was your favorite subject in high school or earlier?
- Where did you go to college? Why?
- What did you study? Why?
- What was your favorite non-major class? Why?
- Did you enjoy your college experience?
- Would you send your kids to college?
Family
- How many siblings do you have, where do you fall in the order, and how close are you?
- What are your parents like, and what is their relationship like?
- In what ways are you more like your mom, and in what ways more like your dad?
- What role did you play in your family growing up?
- What stories get told and retold in your family?
- How close are you with your family now compared to growing up?
Hobbies
- What do you spend most of your free time on these days?
- What makes you lose track of time?
- Is there a hobby you take seriously enough that it feels like part of who you are?
- Is there something you used to love doing that you've stopped? Why?
- What do you enjoy doing most with friends?
- What do you enjoy doing most with your partner?
Favorites
- Favorite cuisine?
- Favorite genre of music or artist?
- Favorite movie or show?
- Favorite book?
- Favorite place you've traveled?
- Morning person or night owl?
Personal
- Do you believe in personality tests? If so, what's your Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, and Big Five (OCEAN)?
- What are the values you try hardest to live by?
- When you make a big decision, do you lead more with your head or your heart?
- How do you handle stress and hard emotions?
- What's a belief or opinion you've meaningfully changed your mind about?
- Do you consider yourself spiritual or religious, and where do you find meaning?
Career
- For each past role:
- How did you find it?
- Why did you choose it?
- What did you enjoy most about it?
- What did you enjoy least about it?
- What accomplishments are you most proud of?
- What were some low points?
- Why did you leave?
- Rank what you want most out of work: impact, mastery, money, autonomy, recognition, or something else.
- How do you define success, and has that definition changed over time?
- What are you working toward right now, and where do you hope it leads?
- When are you at your best at work, and what kind of environment brings that out of you?
- What other careers could you see yourself in, in a parallel universe?
Siblings
For two siblings to ask each other.
- What is your favorite memory of us?
- What is your favorite game or activity we used to play together as kids?
- Do you remember any funny or embarrassing moments from our childhood that still make you laugh?
- What's something you got away with as a kid?
- What childhood memory do you think about often?
- Is there a particular family tradition or ritual that holds special meaning to you?
- Are there any lessons or values you learned from our parents or family that have stuck with you?
- How do you think our upbringing has influenced the people we are today?
- What do you admire most about each other?
- What's one thing you would change about our childhood?
- Is there anything about our relationship you would like to change?
- Is there something you'd like to say to me, but haven't known how to?
- What do you hope our future looks like?
- Is there a dream or goal that you've always wanted to pursue together?
- How do you envision our relationship evolving as we grow older?